Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
