why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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