No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
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