Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
