Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
