i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
