Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
