i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Randomize
