This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
