I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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