I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize
