we have pet lesbian snakes
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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