would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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