Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
