FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
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