he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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