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this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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