I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
