Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
