So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
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