I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
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