singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
