I wish I could punch you in the face.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
did you just send me my own nude
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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