Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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