I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
