I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
