Will you blow on my dice?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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