his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
