I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
is wine microwaveable?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
