New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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