i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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