She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
oh god the rape fog is back!
My hand turned me down
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Randomize
