dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I smell like Dick and happiness
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
