Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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