For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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