she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
