If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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