oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
