he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize