Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
