Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
