i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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