this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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