I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
