your room smells of hookers.
And success
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
