plz talk dirty to me
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
