Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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