i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
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