we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
