Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
