hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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