i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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