no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
