is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
this boner is exhausting
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Randomize
