and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
