Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
