i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize