It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
