Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i came on her dog
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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