Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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